Recovery has been a long road for Britney Spears, and she’s still struggling with it.

Ever since she was able to put an end to her conservatorship, she has been sharing her journey of healing, forgiveness, and coming to terms with the consequences of the 13 years she spent without having control of her own life.

Unsurprisingly, she decided to take to Instagram to share her feelings, and she opened up about disturbing details regarding her health.

She also said she’s not ready to forgive the people who hurt her, especially when she has to deal with the pain they caused every day.

Britney Spears Finds It Hard To Forgive Her Parents

In a since-deleted Instagram post, Britney Spears made a very vulnerable and heartbreaking confession about her health and trauma. Amid her painful and controversial feud with her family, she opened up about how much she wishes she could forgive them, but can’t find it in herself to do it despite missing them and loving them.

“There was a time when I was held in a spot against my will for a very long time… well to be honest I haven’t really been the same since,” she wrote. She then opened up about how her sometimes confusing use of social media has a lot to do with how she shares her trauma.

“I’m not here to be a victim, I’m here to express that even though I did a book about my experiences the trauma is still there and probably will always be. It’s extremely deep and to my knowledge, all I can do is do the best I can and know it’s okay to be upset some days or not be okay and that’s something I don’t feel like the world has allowed me to do.”

When it comes to her parents, who are usually the ones she blames the most for what she suffered during her conservatorship, she’s having a hard time letting go of the pain. “I have to be the bigger person and forgive my own parents… but that’s extremely hard!!! I will do my best to let it go and not let others down by my anger.”

Britney Spears Spoke About Her Nerve Damage

Back in 2022, Britney Spears shared the devastating news that she had nerve damage, which she attributes to the mistreatment she suffered during her conservatorship, although she never gave specific details.

She said she had “nerve damage on the right side of my body… there’s no cure except God I guess… nerve damage is caused sometimes when you don’t get enough oxygen to your brain… your brain literally shuts down… blah blah blah old story.”

About her own experience, Britney said “In that place [where she lived during the conservatorship, allegedly] I didn’t breathe when I was there… nerve damage causes parts of your body to go numb. I wake up like 3 times a week in bed and my hands are completely numb.”

In her most recent post, she referenced her struggles with nerve damage and clarified just how deeply it affects her, which is why she can’t forgive her parents.

“All I can do is try to be awakened by prayer that connects me to a loving manner not made of fear or threats, but by trying to forgive the people who made the right side of my body have serious nerve damage to where I can’t even think sometimes,” she lamented.

Hopefully, she will be able to heal and grow, regardless of what she decides to do about her family.